Nancy Pristine, author, motivational speaker and radio talk show host announces the publishing of an article to her website.
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(Phoenix, AZ) - Nancy Pristine, author, motivational speaker and radio talk show host announces the publishing of an article to her website. This article and others can be viewed at http://nancypristine.com
As children we are taught to be polite and giving, and to put the desires and needs of just about everyone else before our own. This helped us learn empathy for others and some humility. However, it also taught us that our wants and needs don't really matter. It became a lifelong habit, ingrained in our belief system. As adults we continue to run around fulfilling everyone else's requests, never quite seeing our own dreams and desires come to fruition.
Are You Working Toward Your "Highest Good"?
Is doing for others such a bad thing? It can be if you are only there for others and not for yourself. One of the questions I always ask myself is "Is this for my highest good?" That is, will it make me a better person and improve my inner being? I try to look at every situation in my life with a critical eye to see if what is being asked of me will make me a better person, be a benefit in some way; if it is in sync with where I want to go in life and the type of person I want to be.
Sounds simple enough, right? Oh, if it only were. As I said before, putting the world's desires ahead of your own is a difficult habit to break. It takes a concerted effort on your part to decide that you will not feel guilty, and will not reverse your decision on any particular matter. If you're afraid you will appear selfish or uncaring, realize that if you're not fulfilling your own needs, you can't really help others in your life. Just like they warn you on every plane trip: put your own oxygen mask on first. Failure to do so could leave you and whoever you might try to help without air.
It's important to realize that not everything you do in life has to be for the benefit of others. You are also responsible for taking care of your own needs, wants and desires. By practicing what I like to call, "mind control", you can take control of your life and become better able to deal with those who try to make you feel guilty about not attending to their beckon call. You matter as much as anyone else in your life. When you accept that premise, others will too. Life becomes more balanced, more fair.
Staying true to yourself is important. Ralph Waldo Emerson summed it up best when he said: "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
The more you take control of your life, the happier and more empowered you will be. When you do this, you'll still have the desire to do things for others, but this time it will be because you want to, not because you feel compelled to.
Give Yourself Self-Esteem a Boost
Increasing your "mind control" and deciding to make yourself priority number one is not an easy decision. It will take some time to process, as this is a habit that has to be broken. And like any habit, you will go through withdrawal. You may experience guilt every time you say no to the other people in your life. This too, shall pass. Remember, looking out for yourself and fulfilling your own needs and desires does not equal being selfish. It means you hold yourself in as high regard as you hold the others in your life.
As you make these changes you'll notice an increased sense of self esteem-a knowledge that your dreams do matter. This new-found sense of self will also have a positive effect on those around you, even if they would prefer not to admit it. Your inner power will elicit respect from others; you will also make better, more considerate, decisions. I truly believe that when you live your life for the highest good you are benefiting yourself, as well as your family, friends and co-workers.
Hillel, an ancient scholar once said: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am 'I'?" And "If not now, when?" Good question.
Nancy Pristine is an author, motivational speaker and radio talk show host. Listen to The Nancy Pristine Show every Thursday and Friday from 2-3 PM EST on Toginet.com and never settle for second best again!
Past articles can be viewed at http://nancypristine.com/articles
Nancy Pristine is available for interviews. Please contact Shannon Rose at Eclectic Media Productions. Eclectic Media Productions is an independent public relations and marketing firm providing strategic marketing, PR Services, communications planning and media outreach. "Your One Stop to take you to The Top!"
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